These are the wise words of Dr. Ramani, a mental health expert on navigating narcissism. Unfortunately, as a lawyer, running away from your narcissistic client, boss, colleague, judge, or any other person related to your legal practice only happens in utopia. Below is a summary of some strategies shared by Dr. Ramani to help you recognize and deal with the “wolf in sheep’s clothing”:
1. Own your truth and your reality. Gaslighting works if you give the narcissists too much credit and not enough to yourself.
2. Stop valuing charisma and charm. Pay attention to people’s actions, not just their words.
3. Intelligence or education is not a virtue, especially when it becomes self-praise. Kindness and compassion are the true virtues.
4. Wealth and success do not reflect people’s intentions or actions. Halos on wealth, success, fame, and celebrity can lead to power imbalance. Keep observing the narcissists’ actions, not just their show.
5. Watch how they treat other people. Odds are, before long, the narcissists will treat you the same way.
6. Learn the narcissists tells. They reveal themselves in moments of frustration or disappointment when they don’t receive the attention they think they deserve, anger, rage, and contempt are always present, so be vigilant and protect yourself.
7. Set boundaries . “No” is a complete sentence. Narcissists are entitled people, and you will need to establish boundaries, tolerate their discomfort, and not compromise for them.
8. Stop giving second chances and stay vigilant. Pay attention to determine if the narcissists’ behaviour is a pattern. If it is, stop making excuses for it.
9. Surround yourself with good people. As a rule, narcissists demand all your time and become jealous when you give it to others. They will isolate and control you. Healthy people validate you, do not gaslight you, have your back, encourage you to pursue your dreams, and exhibit empathy, compassion, and kindness. Stay close to them.
10. Master the art of grey rocking. If you employ the grey rocking technique with a narcissist, he will become disinterested in you because you’re not providing him with the validation he seeks.
11. Keep for yourself whatever is meaningful and gives purpose to your life. If you have something that is meaningful and purposeful, do not share it with the narcissist because he will dismantle, mock, and minimize it.
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